my best friend john just moved into his own pad in Naperville...attached is a list of rules (courtesy of Jon Dainis) I found stowed in my inbox this morning.....
A few of my house rules you should know...
1. Just because Kathy is walking around the apartment in nothing but an apron doesn't mean you should interrupt her cooking or cleaning. She is there to WORK and service my sexual needs on the hour.
2. No peeing or defacating off the balcony unless you are sure Christina's douchebag boyfriend is standing below.
3. Happy Hour is all hours. NO EXCEPTIONS.
4. Male crying is not allowed UNLESS one is watching the White Sox World Series DVD. Then it is completely acceptable.
5. Male signs of affection are ONLY allowed in the case of an ass slap and "thata boy", quite obviously preceded by the banging of a hot chick that was picked up at a bar the evening prior.
These are my rules. Please learn and abide by them!
See ya in a week!!
Lookin' forward to seein' you John...Love the rules....
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